How to Develop Your Own Meditation Practice

Meditation is a challenging practice to master that requires dedication, patience, and consistent effort to become a regular part of your routine. New practitioners should expect to encounter setbacks, distractions, and feelings of giving up. Even established practitioners have to work to keep their practice consistent.

But it’s not impossible and there are plenty of proven strategies and best practices that can help you overcome common obstacles. Meditation is well worth the effort. The physical and mental health benefits are well-documented and many people incorporate meditation into their daily lives.

Challenges to Meditation and How to Overcome Them

Finding the Time for a Regular Practice

It’s so easy to say “pick a time and stick to it” but life is unpredictable and time is not always on our side. Energy levels fluctuate while moods shift throughout the day. 

Morning meditation can be a great way to start the day with clarity and focus, but there may be some mornings you might oversleep, feel rushed, or simply not have the mental energy to sit in stillness. Evening meditation is equally valuable, offering a chance to wind down before bed. Yet some evening may occupied with social events, late-night movies, or even sheer exhaustion, and meditation just isn’t going to happen.

One way to make meditation more consistent is to pair it with another regular habit, such as yoga or even running. In traditional yoga practice, the physical movement of asana is designed to prepare the body and mind for meditation. After physical activity, the mind is often more receptive to stillness.

Trying to Stop Your Thoughts

A common mistake among beginners is trying to force the mind to stop thinking. They attempt to silence their inner dialogue, forgetting that thinking is what the brain naturally does. Trying to stop your thoughts is like trying to stop water from falling from a waterfall.

Meditation isn’t about eliminating thoughts; it’s about observing them without attachment.  It might be helpful to imagine thoughts as balloons with curly strings hanging from them. Instead of trying to catch the balloons and hold onto them, just notice them and let them drift by. 

The more you observe the thoughts instead of engaging with them, the more you will be able to notice the peaceful quiet of a clear sky in the background. Inner quietude is always present within us but hardly noticed because of our thoughts are clamoring for attention.

Sitting for Potentially Long Periods of Time

Much of modern society spends our days at a desk, slouching behind a computer. When we finally arise from sitting all day, we stretch this way and that way, placing our hands on our low backs, maybe even feeling some stiffness or discomfort. More sitting may not sound appealing, especially when compared to a physical activity like yoga or tai chi.

Thankfully not all meditation requires sitting still. Body scans, sound baths, and some guided meditations are best experienced lying down to enhance full body awareness. Walking meditations are another great option for those who feel more at ease moving than sitting.

When you practice a seated meditation, focus on creating a posture that allows our breath to move freely. Sit tall with an open chest and soft, relaxed shoulders, slightly rolled back away from the ears. Sitting with your back against a wall for additional support is always an option as is sitting with your feet flat on the floor for a grounding sensation. Feel free to explore different postures and find which ones are the most comfortable for you. 

Giving Up Too Soon 

Expecting immediate enlightenment from a few meditation sessions will only lead to disappointment, plus add stress to a practice designed to eliminate stress. Meditation is often romanticized with images of serene, blissful practitioners, smiling with their eyes closed, normally backlit with sunlight. But real meditation doesn’t always look or feel that way.

This can lead to new practitioners giving up before they’ve given the practice a real chance. Meditation is different for everyone and some people may be discouraged because their experience doesn’t look like the picture. Expectations of what meditation should be cloud the reality of the experience.

There’s no need to worry if you are doing it properly or not. Mediation isn’t simple but it is achievable with dedicated practice, even if for only a few minutes a day. Resist the urge to throw your hands up and quit. The consistency will eventually turn into momentum. 

Getting Frustrated with Distractions

Distractions are inevitable. Maybe you are distracted by family, friends, obligations, or what to eat for dinner. Maybe you can’t help but think about what you plan to do after you are done with your five minutes of meditation. 

Give yourself time and space to become comfortable with the practice. Breathe. Seriously, just breathe. Bring your attention to your breath, mindfully drawing your attention to the feel of the inhale and the exhale. Notice how the new air is cool and when exhaled, the air is warm. Notice how the breath feels in the nostrils, throat, and into the lungs. Notice the subtle movements of the body as it is breathes. Use your breath to redirect your attention and gain a focus point. Even if meditation feels out of reach, mindfulness is always accessible.

A Case of the Fidgets

Similar to the mind and thoughts, the physical body can become restless when trying to find stillness. This can be particularly challenging if coming to meditation after a busy day. The mind and body need time to adjust to a slower pace after being in a rush.

Try releasing tension with a deep sigh. Inhale through your nose, fill your lungs, then exhale audibly through your mouth. Repeat a few times until your face and jaw begins to feel more relaxed and your shoulders are further away from your ears. 

Everyone experiences fidgeting. When you feel the urge to move, acknowledge it. Shift if you need to, then gently bring your attention back. Over time, the restlessness will subside.

The Discomfort of Our Own Feelings

Even though meditation is a loving act of self-care, by nature, it is self-reflective. Sometimes the image shown back to us isn’t always the most flattering version of ourself or a disturbing memory may float by. Everybody who has lived life has complicated thoughts, feelings, and memories. Even though they’re a natural part of the process, unfortunately, some of these moments can feel unsettling.

The best we can do is acknowledge the difficult things and then let them go. They will try to lead you into a story, but don’t follow them. And if you try to banish or erase them from your mind, they will find something to grip onto and stay as long as they can. Acknowledge their existence and let them go gently, maybe even with love.

If the thoughts are particularly hard and difficult to sit with, then you may need to seek outside assistance, like counseling or therapy. Always prioritize your total well-being and care for yourself with kindness.

How To Develop a Consistent Practice

Have a Reason to Meditate 

Having a clear intention or reason for meditating is key to building a consistent practice. While traditional yoga philosophy encourages meditation as a path to enlightenment or inner freedom, that may not resonate with everyone and that’s perfectly okay.

Your motivation might be more practical: to improve focus, reduce anxiety, or build emotional resilience. It could be health-related, such as lowering blood pressure or calming your heart rate.(2)(3) Whatever your reason, make sure it speaks to you in a meaningful way. When your “why” feels genuine, your practice becomes more rooted and easier to return to, even on difficult days.

Find a Location

Ideally, meditation takes place in a quiet, peaceful, uncluttered space. But in real life, most of us live in homes with shared spaces and busy environments.

If possible, carve out a dedicated corner for your practice. If not, then don’t worry about the mess or noise. Instead, treat distractions as part of the experience. Just like passing thoughts, allow them to exist, then gently return your attention to your practice. Over time, those external disruptions will fade into the background.

Find a Comfortable, Natural Posture

One of the challenges many new meditation practitioners encounter is sitting for long periods of time, particularly in an uncomfortable posture. There’s no need to contort yourself into a picture-perfect meditation pose. Sit in a way that feels natural and relaxed, but still supports good posture.

The whole reason we are told to sit up straight is to make sure our chest has plenty of room for breathing. As you inhale, feel the spine lengthen; as you exhale, allow your body to soften into the position. If you need to adjust, itch, or shift, do so. Meditation isn’t about being in total stillness, instead, just try being mindful and at ease.

How Long to Meditate

If you’re new to meditation, even one minute can feel like ten. That’s totally normal. Begin with five minutes and work your way up, allowing yourself to get used to the experience. Even if your just sitting there, thinking it’s a waste of time, stay there. Eventually, you will get used to the certain period of time and be able to settle into practice naturally.

Expect distractions, restlessness, or even discomfort. Your inner sky may be filled with countless balloons with their dangling, curly ribbons. You may get a wild case of the fidgets and your seat may become extremely uncomfortable. 

As your body and mind adjust, your capacity for stillness will grow. Eventually, five minutes can become ten, then twenty, and even thirty. Start with a set amount of time and practice it consistently. When you are ready for more, increase the duration.

Practice Consistently and Take a Break When Needed

Consistency is key. A daily practice is recommended, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Over time, meditation becomes a natural part of your routine, just like brushing your teeth.

That said, balance is essential. Studies suggest that fifteen minutes a day is enough to experience measurable health benefits.(1) There’s no need to meditate for hours at a time. If you miss a day, don’t worry. And if you feel emotionally overwhelmed or mentally fatigued, it's okay to take a break. A short pause can offer perspective and deepen your next session.

How to End Meditation Practice

When meditation comes to a close, let yourself come out of your practice softly and slowly. You may experience feelings of a gentle, soft heart or a calm, peaceful mind. Honor these feelings by giving yourself time to feel into your space. Let your eyes remain closed for as long as you need. When you open them, do so softly, maybe with your gaze down to ground so your eyes can get used to the light. 

It might feel good to engage in small movements, like stretching to the left and then to the right or rolling your shoulders and neck. For a sense of grounding after meditation, take your attention to the soles of your feet and imagine you breathing into them. This dedicated attention is a loving way to bring yourself back to your physical self. Take your time, there should be no rush. 

Concluding Thoughts 

Setbacks and distractions are part of the journey but they don’t need to derail your progress or be taken too seriously. Let your dedication be sincere instead of strict. Life will inevitably get messy and when it does, give yourself grace. Acknowledge the interruption, then return to your practice when you're ready.

As meditation becomes part of your daily rhythm, you may notice a growing sense of ease in your mind and peace in your heart. Creating space and time for practice is important, but just as essential is making sure you feel comfortable. Above all, listen to your needs and be kind to yourself.

Bibliography

1 - Denninger, John and Sara Lazar, David Vago. “Now and Zen: How Mindfulness Can Change Your Brain and Improve Your Health.” The Longwood Seminars at Harvard Medical School, March 8, 2016 Conference. PDF Download.

2 - Hassed, Craig. “The Health Benefits of Meditation and Being Mindful.” Monash University.

3 - Jamil, Aneeque, Sai Dheeraj Gutlapalli, Marya Ali, Mrinal J. P. Oble, Shamsun Nahar Sonia, Sherie George, et al. “Meditation and Its Mental and Physical Health Benefits in 2023.” Cureus 15, no. 6 (2023).

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