How Yoga Found Me

I stumbled into my first yoga class because I was in pain. My shoulders rounded from hours of sitting at a desk, and my neck stretched forward to squint at the glowing computer screen. Some mornings, I couldn’t turn my head to pull out of the driveway and had to turn my whole body to look behind me. I found myself taking deep breaths, sighing, feeling out of breath even though I hadn’t done anything. My back ached constantly, and sitting comfortably felt next to impossible. So much had changed in the year I started working at a nonprofit. After over a decade in fashion retail, I thought working in an office would improve my quality of life. I was wrong.

Before the office job, I felt great. Working in retail kept me on my feet, from dressing customers, cleaning dressing rooms, hanging clothes, folding items, setting up displays, coaching my team, styling mannequins, to answering calls from a slightly unhinged but well-meaning district manager. It was dynamic and constantly moving. Forty hours a week of active work, every day colorful and loud, a far cry from sitting at a desk for forty hours a week. The days became beige, the hum of fluorescent lights my new soundtrack. I thought it was what I wanted, but the office job quickly became disheartening.

It didn’t take a full year for my body to start breaking down, and I knew immediately why. Sitting at a desk all day. I needed an activity, something to move my body. I didn’t want a gym membership because I knew I wouldn’t go. I wanted a class, something with a set time and place, so I could just show up. One day, while chatting with my hairdresser, she suggested yoga. Turns out, one of her clients owned a studio nearby, and the next class was that Saturday.

Yoga found me when I walked into class that Saturday. I wore brand-new black yoga pants and a purple fitness shirt, with a yoga mat I had bought at Target the day before. It was green, with an image of a leaf. The night before, I had unrolled it, walked on it, moved around, and tried to get a feel for it. It smelled strange, but it was okay. The class had about five or six people, and it was vinyasa style. I had no idea what I was doing but threw myself into it, trying my best to follow along with the instructor’s guidance. The best part? Savasana. After the workout, you get to lie down. Yoga was the perfect sport for me.

The next day, I felt like pure hell. But in a good way. I could feel muscles I never knew existed, especially in my abs. I felt how everything in my body was connected. I became aware of the sides of my body as I breathed, felt every inch of my legs and thighs when I walked, and noticed my arms were noodles, though my shoulders were tight. But I wasn’t in pain. My body was sore, but I also felt good, happy, even. And best of all, my neck didn’t hurt.

Yoga found me when I was in pain and showed me how to ease it. I couldn’t wait for Saturdays. Then I added weekday classes. Two became three, and once I got an unlimited membership, I went to every class I could. If I had a day off and there were two classes, one in the morning and one in the evening, I went to both.

As I grew stronger physically, something else shifted in me. I can’t quite describe it, but things were changing. I found myself better at managing stress, finding ease in effort, and letting go of things. I became more present in conversations and more mindful of my overall health. These were subtle shifts, like watching a plant grow. Imperceptible at first, but then one day you notice a new leaf, or maybe the plant needs repotting because it’s outgrown its container.

Yoga taught me to breathe and gave me the space to move. It grounded me, keeping me centered when things felt topsy-turvy. It made me stronger, not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. My sense of self didn’t change. I was simply more me and more comfortable being me. To be honest, I wasn’t even trying to grow as a person; I just wanted to turn my neck without pain.

The practice of yoga is more than physical exercise. It’s soul care. All you have to do is show up to the mat. You don’t even need to go to a studio; you can practice with a YouTube video in your pajamas. I’ve been showing up for over a decade, even when I’m tired or feel “blah.”

What keeps me coming back is that I always receive exactly what I need, even when it's not what I expected. I’m so grateful yoga found me, because without it, I’m not sure I would have found myself.

Cultivating Chill hopes you found the content informative and helpful. If you have any questions or want to share anything, please feel free to leave a comment.

Disclaimer: Cultivating Chill is a space where we explore various topics about yoga, yoga science, and all the yoga things in-between. As a result, there may be content that may not align with personal points of view or beliefs. Neither Cultivating Chill nor any authors are trying to judge or claim authority on a topic. Cultivating Chill is a safe space to share ideas, information, and more about yoga–we are exploring and growing and open to trying new things.

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