Protecting Our Inner Chill with Brahmacharya

We’re in the dog days of summer, and the heat has yet to peak. With rising temperatures comes the risk of rising tempers. Numerous studies document how heat waves negatively impact our moods, disrupt sleep, and strain our ability to handle everyday stress. Anger and frustration can become knee-jerk reactions, often followed by regret.(1)(3)(4)(9)

There’s only so much slow breathing one person can do to stay calm. This is where the yamas play a crucial role in our overall well-being. They guide us in cultivating compassion for others. Compassion fosters patience, and together, they help keep our inner landscape serene and at ease.

However, patience is not always an easy thing to have and is often tested when feeling overwhelmed. For example, feelings of frustration or stress can arise from too many tasks or engaging with uncooperative people. Add heat to the experience and both compassion and patience quickly evaporate.

Living with compassion is key to nurturing a balanced, calm self. However, finding balance between obligations and joys is a challenge for everyone, even yogis. This is what makes brahmacharya, “moderation in all our actions,” an ideal yama practice for summer.(5)

Often translated as “abstinence,” a more nuanced understanding of brahmacharya is the “right use of energy.” Desikacher expands this to “responsible behavior with respect to our goal of moving toward the truth.”(5) Another interpretation of brahmacharya is simply moderation.

By practicing moderation, we become better equipped to manage our emotions, thereby creating space to find balance. There are many ways to express brahmacharya every day, not just in the summertime. For example, setting boundaries is a meaningful expression of moderation. That includes saying “no” when needed and being okay with it.

In the midst of summer fun, saying “no” may feel counterintuitive. Yet boundaries protect both our time and energy, allowing us to channel them into what brings genuine joy instead of unwanted obligation. In a way, the practice of moderation is also a practice of mindfulness.

Setting Boundaries

Saying “no” isn’t always easy. There’s the worry that someone’s feelings might be hurt or that a conflict may arise. Or that you may be seen as a bad person. These concerns often lead to saying “yes” to activities we’re not interested in or spending time with people we don’t genuinely connect with. Overextending ourselves isn’t aligned with the moderating spirit of brahmacharya.

When you are overextended, your inner peace is challenged and you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed. This can invite anger, frustration, and even resentment; emotions that activate a personal heat wave. The simplest way to prevent a hot burnout is by gently saying “no.”

Saying “no” allows boundaries to be set. Boundaries are a powerful embodiment of brahmacharya. They protect peace of mind, create balance, and make room for the experiences that bring joy, replenishment, and happiness. They’re essential for sustaining both physical and mental well-being.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re uncaring or retreating from connection. A respectful “no” doesn’t have to be stern or cold. There are many ways to say it with kindness and grace.

For example, let’s say you are presented with an opportunity or experience that you believe will be burdensome. Instead of letting an annoyed look fall over your face, be an active, engaged listener that acknowledges the person’s request with consideration. Then, with compassion and kindness, decline the offer.

If appropriate, share your concerns or suggest an alternative; perhaps even offer to connect them with someone else who might be available or better suited. These gestures reflect both maturity and a genuine desire to support others.

But make sure you deliver a “definitive no,” so there’s no confusion or room for persuasion. If they are pushy, you are more than allowed to stand firm with your “no.” Being firm is not being not rude or unkind.(7)

We may not be able to say “no” to all the things that we wish we could. Some of us have jobs we have to go to because other options are far and few between. Others may be obligated to spend time with company they don’t particularly enjoy, whether it be family members or coworkers. But by setting a few boundaries, we give ourselves space to let off steam and prevent overheating.

The Joy of Saying “Yes”

While saying “no” may feel uncomfortable at first, it’s one of the most direct ways to uphold boundaries and honor brahmacharya. Far from being restrictive, boundaries are often surprisingly expansive. Within them, we find the space to breathe, restore, and stay emotionally cool, which will be needed as the summer heat intensifies.

Now that boundaries are set, what to do with your reservoir of energy? Anything you want. You are free to say “yes” to whatever lights you up and brings you joy. You now have the mental and physical energy to engage and be fully present when with the family and friends you actually want to spend time with.

You are free to laugh, joke, and have fun. Laughing with others helps you age in a healthy way and improves your long-term functional abilities such as bathing and dressing yourself.(10) As a bonus, you are also making happy memories and strengthening your social connections.

Engaging in hobbies and extracurricular activities are another option, either solo or with a group. With more time for leisure and fun, enjoying activities like arts and crafts, gardening, fitness, and even reading will expand your imagination and creativity as well as give you an opportunity to relax. When participating in a group activity, like sports or volunteering, you are also increasing your social support system, thereby reducing feelings of loneliness or isolation.(8)

With that being said, there is nothing wrong with enjoying your own company and fostering a sense of quietude and inner peace. Gentle activities like meditation or listening to music reduce stress and promote heart health by activating our rest and digest response of the parasympathetic nervous system.(2)(6)

Setting boundaries with brahmacharya can open up the space, time, and energy to take better care of yourself and become a healthier, happier person. With a balanced approach to obligations and desires, you will be able to stay internally cool while summer heat continues to wave. 

Concluding Thoughts

It’s entirely possible to say “no” and set boundaries with kindness and compassion. As an expression of brahmacharya, boundaries allow us to conserve and protect our energy so we can enjoy a cooler, more balanced summer. This can lead us to laugh more, engage in much-loved hobbies and activities, or just find some peace and quiet and relax. 

By being mindful of how and where we direct our energy, we create space for what truly brings meaning to our lives while gently releasing what doesn’t. This eases unnecessary stress and prevents rising feelings of anger and frustration. And again, setting boundaries isn’t about isolation or creating an island of one. We are just trying to give ourselves some breathing space.

Moderation through brahmacharya helps us shift from a reactive, autopilot existence into one that is intentional and aware. The yogic lifestyle offers many ways to keep our inner cool during the heat of summer and brahmacharya is a particularly refreshing one.

Bibliography

1 - Anderson, Craig A., Kathryn B. Anderson, Nancy Dorr, Kristina M. DeNeve, and Mindy Flanagan. “Temperature and Aggression.” Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 32, (2000): 63-133.

2 - Bernardi, Luciano, Camillo Porta, P. Sleight.  “Cardiovascular, Cerebrovascular, and Respiratory Changes Induced by Different Types of Music in Musicians and Non-Musicians: The Importance of Silence.” Heart (British Cardiac Society) 92, no. 4 (2006): 445-452. 

3 - Chevance, Guillaume, Kelton Minor, Constanza Vielma, Emmanuel Campi, Cristina O’Callaghan-Gordo, Xavier Basagaña, and et al. “A Systematic Review of Ambient Heat and Sleep in a Warming Climate.” Sleep Medicine Reviews 75 (2024).

4 - Denissen, Jaap J.A., Ligaya Butalid, Lars Penke, and Marcel A.G. van Aken. “The Effects of Weather on Daily Mood: A Multilevel Approach.” Emotion 8, no. 5 (2008): 662-667.

5 - Desikachar, T.K.V. The Heart of Yoga, 99, 175. Inner Traditions International, 1995.

6 - Donelli, Davide, Davide Lazzeroni, Matteo Rizzato, Michele Antonelli.  “Chapter 6 - Silence and Its Effects on the Autonomic Nervous System: A Systematic Review.”Progress in Brain Research 280 (2023) 103-144.

7 - Hinton Jr., Antentor O., Melanie R. McReynolds, Denise Martinez, Haysetta D. Shuler, and Christina M. Termini. “The Power of Saying No.” EMBO Reports 21, no. 7:(2020).

8 - Mak, Hei Wan, Taiji Noguchi, Jessica K. Bone, Jacques Wels, Qian Gao, Katsunori Kondo, and et al. “Hobby Engagement and Mental Wellbeing Among People Aged 65 years and Older in 16 Countries.” Nature Medicine 29 (2023): 2233–2240.

9 - Okamoto-Mizuno, Kazue and Koh Mizuno. “Effects of Thermal Environment on Sleep and Circadian Rhythm.” Journal of Physiological Anthropology 31, no. 14 (2012). 

10 - Tamada, Yudai, Chikae Yamaguchi, Masashige Saito, Tetsuya Ohira, Kokoro Shirai, Katsunori Kondo, and Kenji Takeuchi. “Does Laughing with Others Lower the Risk of Functional Disability Among Older Japanese Adults?“ The JAGES Prospective Cohort Study.” Preventive Medicine 155, February 2022.

11 - UC Davis Health. “How to Set Boundaries and Why It Matters for Your Mental Health.”

Cultivating Chill hopes you found the content informative and helpful. If you have any questions or want to share anything, please feel free to leave a comment.

Disclaimer: Cultivating Chill is a space where we explore various topics about yoga, yoga science, and all the yoga things in-between. As a result, there may be content that may not align with personal points of view or beliefs. Neither Cultivating Chill nor any authors are trying to judge or claim authority on a topic. Cultivating Chill is a safe space to share ideas, information, and more about yoga–we are exploring and growing and open to trying new things.

Please feel to take what speaks to you and leave the rest.